I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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