used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Acid is not a monday night drug
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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