That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
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I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
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At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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