i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
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I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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