oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just puked most of my soul out..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
