I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
