Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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