I wanna bring you to show and tell
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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