I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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