The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
