Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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