he puts the penis in happiness.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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