After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
