I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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