I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
