I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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