I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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