I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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