Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
