just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
