dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
