..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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