Nicole vs. Life
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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