dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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