I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
