What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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