Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize