it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
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We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
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At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT