I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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