There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
