I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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