I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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