I skipped work to stalk him.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
