She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
