I wanna bring you to show and tell
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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