that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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