i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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