y did u give ur computer a hand job?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize