Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
