There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now