One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..