just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.