I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
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After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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