Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
