You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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