I cockslap morals
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
