I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Pappa wants mamma naked
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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