Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
