I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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