Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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