About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
