just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
