i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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