if i can run in heels then i can drive
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
