honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
