Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
